On life and passing

I came back from a photoshoot with a gorgeous bouquet - one of my favorite perks of being a wedding photographer ! -  there were these gorgeous tulips that I couldn't stop staring at for the next few days. I kinda felt upset when they started to fade and lose their petals but I then noticed how beautiful the process actually was. That kind of mystical beauty about breathing their last breath after having fulfilled their purpose of bringing beauty in this world and given the best version of themselves. As I looked at the petals slowly falling one after another, it was like seeing someone saying : I've given everything I could, I've fulfilled my life purpose, now I can leave.

And it kinda pushed me to reflect back on our lives: are we aware of our life purpose? If so, are we developing ourselves to our full potential to serve this purpose, like a bud blooms into a full flower? Being alive is already a miracle (read more HERE), so are we living a life that celebrate this miracle? I believe my life purpose is to be of service, to contribute to make other people's life a happy(ier) one, at my own scale. I really love this quote : "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me" - Erma Bombeck

I've recently read the book "The Miracle Morning" and I have to admit that it kinda changed my lifestyle ever since. And combined with the recent horrible events that happened in Paris, Brussels and around the world, I now wake up every day knowing that my life can stop anytime therefore I can't settle for less than the best version of myself, starting from the very moment I wake up. I mean, don't you want to leave this world feeling you've achieved the best that you could, that you've given everything you've been created for - just like the tulips ?  (more about why I'm a photographer, HERE) “Those who overcome the temptations of mediocrity and achieve everything they want in life have an extraordinarily compelling why that drives them. They have defined a clear life purpose that is more powerful than the collective sum of their petty problems and the countless obstacles they will inevitably face, and they wake up each day and work towards their purpose.” 
― Hal Elrod

I'd love for each one of us to wake up everyday with this thought in mind:

"Let each morn be better than its eve and each morrow richer than its yesterday." - Bahá’u’lláh

Gluten free chocolate lava cake

Those who know me well know that I'm in love with food and cooking, probably as much as Kanye loves Kanye. Being born in France, I certainly had no other choice but to get addicted to cheese, butter and fresh baguettes. I believe that if I didn't fall for photography, I probably would have opened a bakery. Baking is breathing to me... I just wished that chocolate was as healthy as fresh air.

And although you probably came across my blog because you were looking for wedding photos, I wanted to share with you this other part of my life. Today, I'm sharing with you one of my all-time favorite recipes. It's the easiest, fastest, yummiest, chocolate molten cake recipe everrrr AND it's gluten free ! Ha! What more could you ask for ?! You can whip this cake in less that 20 minutes and blow away your guests' taste buds at the very first spoon. Try at your next dinner party and let me know how it went !

RECIPE :

Ingredients :

• 4 organic fresh eggs
• 125g of organic butter - I use a salted butter but some might not like salty/sweet combination
• 300g of dark chocolate (70% cacao) + optional : 1 tablespoon of raw cacao powder for those who like intense chocolaty taste
• 2 tablespoon of rice or corn flour - I usually use a French corn flour brand called Maizena
• 2 tablespoon of brown sugar

How to (the easiest instructions on earth! 3 steps only!) :

1. Whisk eggs and sugar together until a slight foam forms, add the flour and the cacao powder
2. Melt your butter and chocolate in a saucepan on a low heat. Add to mixture n°1
3. Fill in individual muffin baking tins. Bake at 210°c (410°F) for 10 MINUTES ! no more, no less. Take out of the oven, let it cool down before serving (10 min if you like it hot like Marilyn). Serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream for those who will start diet tomorrow.

BONUS TIPS : You can even fill in your individual muffin tins and freeze them ! Pull them out on your Sunday night dinner when you didn't think of desserts and all shops are closed! You're welcome ...  (Bake a little longer, 15 mins)

BON APPÉTIT ! :)

C x

The Secret of a happy(ier) life : RESILIENCE

Last January, I've traveled through Australia and visited the amazing  Blue Mountains. The slate-blue haze that gives the mountains their name comes from a fine mist of oil exuded by the huge Eucalyptus trees that form a dense canopy across the landscape.
What I've learned is that Eucalyptus are one of the most resilient trees as it can grow back leaves only within 48 hours after being completely burnt! Isn't amazing? 48 hours !
I remember telling myself that one of my 2016 resolutions would be to learn to become as resilient as an Eucalyptus! Little did I know that it is scientifically proven that our human body actually stores emotions -  physiologically speaking - for only 90 seconds. Yep, you read well, 90 seconds. Now, I do hear you say : "well, when I get angry, it surely lasts more than 90 seconds!"... Sorry to say that if it does last longer than 90 seconds, it's because you choose to. It is actually our brain and the choice we make once the emotional trigger hits that will determine how we feel. We can either decide to let our thoughts escalate to a more frenzied state or down talk ourselves into a calm state. Honestly, I was blown away when I read about it. You can read more about this in Jill Bolte Taylor's book on how she discovered the brain's functioning after she suffered a stroke. She's talking about it with Oprah, here. Here's what she discovered:

"When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds.

This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away.

After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again."

NOW, isn't this a-ma-zing ? So here's a secret to a happier life : 90 seconds of ...patience! #2016goals

Spring is just around the corner, I think it is a great opportunity for us to do a little "spring cleaning" in our mind. As a baha'i, I will also celebrate Naw-Ruz, the beginning of a New Year with new resolutions!

Film photos are shot on Mamiya 645 AFD with Portra 400 | Dev and Scans by Carmencita Film Lab

On birthdays and celebrating life

So it happened again, this year, same date. Yes my birthday. For the past few years, I didn't really enjoy celebrating the fact that was "getting old". And one day, as I talked to a friend about it, she said something that was so simple that it actually blew my mind... She said : "why are you not celebrating your birthday?" To which I replied with that blank statement of : "why would I celebrate the fact that I'm getting old ?" That's when she dropped this truth bomb : "Honey, it's not about celebrating you getting old, it's about celebrating the day you were born, which is a life miracle and the fact that you are still alive which is a blessing."... BOOM. So simple yet so true. Do you know the probability of your being born ? It's something like 1 in 400 trillion (all the details in this article)  - ermmm yes, FOUR HUNDRED TRILLION...Do you even know what a trillion is... well, it's big enough to make you realize that the event of you being born as you is an unlikely event; almost impossible - which by definition is what we call a miracle. So yes, I'm a miracle and so are you, and that, in itself, is enough to be celebrated at least once a year, isn't it ?

We are so brain-washed by all the media around us that promote the ever lasting youth, as if getting old was a curse, that we just end up buying it. We condition our brain thinking that getting old sucks. When in reality, life it's not even about getting old but about GROWING. And that my friend, is a huge difference. I realized that last autumn, as I watched my 3-year-old nephew playing with leaves fallen from the trees and I remember having this thought: "oh don't you ever grow old, just stay this little. Keep your pure heart, your innocence, your wonderment for every little details of life." But then I realized that that's not what life is about, is it? It's actually going through its multitude of ordeals, heart breaks, victories, success, and all these things that will challenge your pure heart, your innocence, your wonderment, BUT still finding your way back to purity, innocence and awe despite all these challenges and even have them stronger than before. That is growth, and that is beautiful.

So my wish for my nephew now, but also for myself and for you as well is : to grow old with integrity, fight for your beliefs and act with a purity of intention. To strive to keep being awed everyday: just like he looked at the leaves falling from the trees and asked why they were falling? (see video at 0:40 - and as you can see I couldn't even answer that question!). So Yes ask why,  go back to your 3-year-old self and keep on asking yourself why, why you're doing what you do, why are you waking up everyday, why is the sky blue, why are you happy, why are you sad, keep on asking everyday of your life because that is what will keep your heart alive and your soul shining; always dig deeper to answer your questions, remove your fears, your blocks, and live life fully. Don't let the world and its apparent chaos unsettle you or dime your light. Find your gift and give it away. As Pablo Picasso said: "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."

So I wish for you to keep on asking why, and be amazed by falling leaves. See that look in his eyes in the video (at 0:52), that little boy transfixed by the wonder of the leaves swirling down as the wind blew through the trees. I want us to have that. I want us to have it everyday and at every birthday.

©Hanke Arkenbout

With love and gratitude,

Cx

Stop living for others, start creating for yourself

Living in a world where we're surrounded with media especially social media, we often find ourselves drowning in information overload. Whether we are wedding photographers or have a creative job - or any job actually - we tend to compare our talent and creativity with whatever we see all day long on our screens. The problem is that it can trigger some depreciating feelings about ourselves because it looks like everyone else is coming up with amazing ideas, everyone else is shooting amazing weddings, everyone else is having a better life than me ... Truth is we know that social media are a lot about showcasing a certain reality, the best version of something, or even staging reality sometimes (I loved these two things : here and here) and this can condition our subconscious in believing that our life pretty much sucks. I've been there, trust me, I know how it feels. But I also started to question this statement and quickly realized that it's all about our perception. Perception about own self, about our self-value, about our own creativity... The other day I read that quote, and it made all the difference :

"Stop hating yourself for everything you're not; start loving yourself for everything you are"

How simple yet powerful statement that is! I believe that our depreciating feelings towards our work come from not loving ourselves enough - not in a selfish way but in a benevolent way - So I started to be more patient and kind with myself. After all, why striving to be patient and kind with people if I can't even be this way with myself ?! And also, I started to list down in my head everything I've already achieved/created and that I'm really proud of. I invite you to do the same, you'll soon realize that you've achieved much more than you think and it will even boost you to push yourself further, get out of your comfort zone and be even more creative and inspired. 

That's what happened with this editorial shoot. I had this idea for a long time running in my head but it never was the right time, I wasn't ready, I didn't have a stylist and other vendors on board, blablablah... and then suddenly during Chinese New Year, it all made sense. All of these excuses didn't matter. All I wanted was to reconnect with my Chinese roots, I wanted to mix modernity and traditions and above all, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone by shooting in conditions I seldom use : indoors, dark backdrop, strong and rich colors and contrast. And the other important thing :  I wanted to create something beautiful for myself, with nothing at stake, no expectations other than exploring, experimenting and see what comes out.  I created the traditional Chinese headdress you see on the photos, by myself and can't tell you how amazing it felt to reconnect with the fun of creating stuff with my own hands, just like a child's excitement with the first Lego castle he builds.

I didn't shoot because I was paid to do so, I didn't shoot because I wanted to be published, I didn't shoot because I wanted likes or approval or praise from anyone. I shot because it meant something to me. 

And what came out was beyond what I could have wished for but most of all, it made me proud of my work and suddenly, the grass wasn't greener on other side. Sun was shining bright again inside of me and grass was pretty fresh and green on my mind's lawn!

And so, I'll just end this rabbiting with this quote from one of my favorite poets :

"Stop acting so small, you are the universe in ecstatic motion" - Rumi

Here are the photos of the shoot :

Gorgeous rings by Myrtille Beck  |  Earrings by La Chambre Blanche     | Massaï Bangles by Sylvia Toledano from Art & Facts, other bangles : vintage

Vintage furniture from La Bohême Déco

Floral arrangement by Roses by Claire  

Headdress and overall styling by myself